Christmas Gifts for Dummies

O man, 24 days till Christmas, and I know every good guy out there is sweating. WHAT does one get for his girlfriend, the girl he wants to be his girlfriend, the girl he just started dating, or his mother. Relax boys, I'm about to enlighten you.

See it really is that hard, and that is the problem, most of you don't think that hard. You figure, a an Gucci sunglasses, Jessica Simpson pumps, or a that goofy Coach purse she showed you is what she really wants. Well you can go down that road, and every year you will be following that same path (although it will magically get more expensive). It is a trap. Either she will step all over you because you always give her what she wants, or she will flip that on you that you NEVER do anything special for her. (Both situations are bad dummy)

So what do you get?

Well FIRST, you NEED to LISTEN to her. Whether its your wife of 50 years, the woman that gave birth to you, or your latest make out buddy, she WILL drop a HINT at something. Maybe it is a pea coat she sees in the mall, or tickets to a Taylor swift concert. (they do not want a video game system, unless they are Mrs. Right)

But, if you want to be a REALLY good man, you need to do better than that, because following her lead ruins Christmas, precisely because it is NOT a surprise.

It all depends on what stage you are in. Trust me. And while they love jewellery, don't do it, its old, and overdone. If you have been just chilling and hanging out, and you want to date this one, THIS may be the single most important Holiday you have (should have started getting serious after Christmas dummy). What you get for her for the first Christmas is going to set the bar, so it is important to 1, not set it too high, and 2, not make it so perfect, or romantic you scare her. So get something funny, or something chill that is a joke between the two of you. Whether it is something as simple as a dvd that the two of you have in common, to a cool tea set, make it something meaningful to whatever the two of you do together. (sex toys do not count.)

If however she is your girlfriend, then this gets a little trickier. I am going to separate this between first 6 official months to one year, and then every year after. For the girl you have been dating now steadily for 6 months, this is also very important. That simple fun gift is out. Now you need to REALLY step up your game. At this point, jewellery may be an option, because now you are her man, and now she can flaunt the bling and ice you give her. But get it yourself, and not the simple Tiffany ones that EVERYONE has. Know her tastes, if shes a sweet southern belle, go pearls or diamonds, if shes a classy northern girl, go Sapphire. Duh. Or just ask the ladies there.

Ok now you say your past all that. What do you get the girl you are serious about. Here is where it can get really fun. You can be awesome, and do a theme. I used to center it around a movie or something. So you get the small little gift, in this case, start with Serendipity (watch it first idiot). Then maybe a scarf, and matching gloves, followed by some nice white figure skates (check her shoe for her size) and tickets to NY to go skating in central park. There you go. For about the same price of a stupid watch, or spa, or gift card to itunes, you have now blown her mind. Or do something cool for her, like check out Davinci.com, and have a picture drawn up in black and white for her of the two of you. Frame it too. Or, if this is a long distance relationship, make her an in-case-you-miss-me-care package. Decorate a shoe box, and fill it with sappy love story chick flicks, tissues, self addresses letters to your addresses, a book, pictures, and your sweatshirt (spray it with your Cologne too for added affect).

What to get your wife? I have no clue. Maybe some pots and pans or a nice vacuum.

And your mother? That is Dad's job, you just give her a nice big hug, tell her you love her, tell her your so blessed to have her, and help her do the dishes (that is what she really wants anyways, but the sound of music limited edition blue ray does the trick too)