While I was at work today I had an epiphany. Men really need help with the first date. Why is the fist date important? Well simply, screw up and you will never get a second one. But then if you make it too awesome, she may run to the hills or constantly hold you to the high standard. It is important to very much be yourself! As the great Hitch said "it is not your job to get her to like you, she already said yes."
Anyways...
DO NOT TAKE HER TO THE MOVIES. It does not allow the two of you to talk. The only opportunity it allows is maybe the classy, smooth, arm around her shoulder move, but really we are not 15 anymore. Second, she may have already seen the movie you have been dying to see with a much better looking guy the weekend before....
DO NOT TAKE HER TO THE COMMON CHAIN RESTAURANT. Really Guys? You have been dying to ask this girl out for months now and the best thing you can do is take her to the place she visits with her girlfriends on a regular basis. Also, in all likelihood the food will not be that good, the service will be sub par, and the wait will be amusement park long. Pick somewhere fun. Hibachi, some local establishment, somewhere romantic, somewhere by the beach, somewhere not in the town center...
DO NOT NOT PAY. Even if it is something casual like coffee, do not give her the option. If she puts up a fuss, be cool, say "you can get the next time." Obviously your intention is to never let her pay, but hey, you have also put in her mind you want to see her again...
DO NOT TAKE HER ANYWHERE WHERE THE BIG GAME IS ON. Your whole idea is to get to know her, and for her to know you, this does not mean for her to see your die hard obsession with your team, or worse, ignore her...
DO NOT BE ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF. If you are a romantic guy, be romantic and show up with flowers, if you are funny, be funny. But don't pretend you are something you are not. It is not fair to her. Sure, you will be nervous, and more likely than not in full blown interview mode, but sooner or later she is going to figure you out and like or dislike you based on you. Also, do not change, the last conversation you want is "you don't treat me the way you used too"
DO NOT NOT OPEN HER DOOR.
DO NOT GO SOMEWHERE YOU TOOK AN EX. Even if it was nice, or it worked. You should never compare ex's, and it is even worse to try to re-create them.
DO NOT BE LATE. She is allowed to keep you waiting...
DO NOT NOT CLEAN YOUR CAR. She will notice if it looks like hell. You wouldn't go to church or a job interview looking sloppy would you? If you respect her, show her....
DO NOT TALK PAST RELATIONSHIPS, POLITICS, OR RELIGION. Even if that is her favorite thing to do.....
DO NOT POUR YOUR HEART OUT. The old adage "it is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt" rings especially true....
DO NOT NOT FORGET TO CHECK THE WEATHER. See, nothing is more suave than handing her an umbrella you had in the back of your car just in case. It would be even better if it was almost broken, you know, you could make some wise comment that this is the best day of this umbrellas life, or heck, this umbrella is the luckiest umbrella in the world, or hey even, well I guess walking with a pretty girl can be struck off this umbrellas bucket list.....
DO NOT FORGET TO CALL FOR RESERVATIONS. Find out what the attire is, find out if where you are going may be busy and to loud. All of these things matter men.
DO NOT HAVE LIL WAYNE BLASTING IN YOUR SPEAKERS. Even if your favorite rapper saved your mother's life do not have that rocking in your car. She is not impressed with your base system. The radio turned down low is fine, or even some kid of live music turned low works....
DO NOT PICK THE CLOSEST PARKING SPOT. By not choosing the closest spot it will allow the two of you to walk for a bit....Do not pick the farthest, this is just dumb and creepy...
DO NOT NOT DRIVE AND DO NOT NOT PICK HER UP. Please, do not tell her you will meet her somewhere....* If however you met her online, and this is a first meeting, choose an area of town that she is familiar with, and this is ok to meet her....
DO NOT SHOW UP DRENCHED IN COLOGNE.
DO NOT NOT SHAVE. And get a hair cut.
DO NOT TAKE HER TO A CONCERT. For all the same reasons as the movies. Now a baseball game, that is totally a good first date. Yall can talk, yall can laugh, yall can people watch and make fun of others. And most importantly, you can figure out if she eats hot dogs (any girl who doesn't is not worth your time)...
DO NOT DO A DOUBLE DATE. Grow a pair and ask her out...
DO NOT ORDER THE CHEAPEST THING ON THE MENU. This will pressure her to also pick something cheap. Do not also pick the most expensive thing, that is just making it seem like you are trying to hard. If she picks the most expensive thing, never ask her out again...
DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3 DAY RULE. If you are interested in calling her afterword, do it....if she is the right one, she will be more excited you did, than scared you may be a creepo...if she is into the whole game thing, than she needs to grow up...
DO NOT TRY TO KISS HER, BUT GOSH DARNIT WALK HER TO HER DOOR.
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