Men of Teal

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Top 5 Reasons I LOVE this draft...

After the initial shock of AlwhoAlwho, I really am loving this draft..and while I may be the only one so far, I think Gene Smith really did the best thing for this is why...

5. We did not get Tebow. Sure we would have sold maybe 5,000 more seats including possibly Patty stepping up, but honestly, do we really want Gator nation at OUR jaguar games? I don't, and I know fans of other colleges don't. Sure Football fans are football fans, and you can like the Gators and Jags, but come on, I don't want people fans of this team ONLY because of Tim Tebow. I get it, the kid is a legend and a great kid, but he is not NFL ready, and the pressure to preform he would get in this town would be unobtainable. And for all of those who complain about not getting an SEC guy, where are all the Derek Harvey gator fans, or Reggie Nelson, I mean we had FRED TAYLOR for gatorsakes. Fans are fickle, and that is why you cannot draft based on what they want.

4. Building on the last statement, college success does not necessarily guarantee pro success. Look at Tom Brady, or Matt Cassel, or heck even Peyton Manning. Did anyone get excited in Boston when Tom Brady was drafted? No. Was anyone excited here when we took Maurice Jones-Drew? I doubt it. Players build names for themselves at the next level based on how they preform on that level. If they have stellar college careers (Eric Crouch) and do not perform in the pros, they will be forgotten or starting for the Toronto Argos. The fact that Gene Smith drafted non big names means something. HE SAW POTENTIAL TALENT. This is based on SCOUTING. Hours were spent dissecting film and looking at the combine numbers, players size, speed, explosiveness, coach-ability and character. A case could be made that AlwhoAlwho (I promise this is the last time I do this) was BETTER statistically (college numbers and combine stats) than the 3rd overall pic. If that turns out to be the case, I GUARANTEE he will become a fan favorite.

3. We picked up a middle linebacker, Kirk Morrison who is in his prime, had over 100 tackles last year, and all of this for basically Quentin Grooves. That is a trade my friends.

2. While none of the pics are considered sexy, it really does not matter. Like I said before in the pros they can become stars. And to all those Gatorlovers out there that say we needed Tebow to sell tickets, I disagree. When we sold out in the past, it was because of three reasons in my mind. A, we were a new team, and the cool new thing to do. Like any major league baseball team that builds a new stadium, the initial awe caused people to come out. Once the honeymoon is over though, people stop coming. For proof look at Camden Yards. B, the economy. The 90's were just such a better (or maybe just more free spending) time. And C, they were winning. Year after year, because of their defense, they were making the playoffs. Notice how none of those reasons involved Tim Tebow or Dez Bryant or Jason Pierre-Paul. And to say we don't have star power? We have MAURICE JONES-DREW!

1. Defense wins Championships. I know I briefly discussed it before, but think about it. The Ravens won a Super Bowl with TRENT DILFER at QB. Think Garrard is better than him? I do. I know it is over stated, but a good defense is a good offense. BUT A GREAT defense makes a mediocre offense GREAT. Not only do they put up points due to pick off returns, but they also win the field position battle, and kill the clock. And what is our offense built on? RUNNING the football. We are based on LONG Drives, not quick strikes like the Colts. How do you beat the Colts? Ask the Saints, you keep Peyton OFF the field. This is done by running running running, and when he does go on offense and get the ball, you put him on his back. You make him move his feet, disrupt his timing. I see good things in the future, and I am really really excited about what is to come....

Draft Grade B

While I know none of the guys we drafted, we did receive a draft grade of a B from the NFL network. I think that pretty much means that this is an A + draft, if the people who were giving us a B were like me and knew of none of these guys as well. Add that to the fact we got a middle linebacker who last year had OVER 100 tackles, this is going to be a VERY VERY good draft. Remember when the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl? The reason they did so was their RELENTLESS pass rush of Tom Brady. They were running 4-5 guys deep out there, and no namers (at the time) like Justin Tuck became instant stars. I envision our front 7 to bring on that kind of pass rush. And you remember all that talk of our Reggie Nelson (err Secondary) being garbage? Just watch how fast that talk goes down the toilet with all the interceptions they are going to get because of our front line. Yea we did not get C.J or Clausen. Yea our stadium will not be sold out with Gator fans sporting Tebow jerseys, but we are going to win. I really love the pic. Good luck Matt, Peyton and Vince, you are going to need it. Bring on the 2010 Teal Curtain!!!

Thursday, April 22, 2010


"We are not trying to win a popularity contest, we are trying to win the Super Bowl." -Gene Smith.

UGHHH YOU BETTER BE RIGHT. I know for one thing I wont be getting a Tyson Alualu jersey anytime soon....

And If I hear the announcers say another "Bear Hug" to the Commish, I will throw up...

But here we go...http:// if you notice at the 1:20 mark, he nails Tim Tebow!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Oh, somewhere in this First Coast land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Jacksonville - mighty Fired Up was blown out.


Yea Yea, I know it is still early baseball season, but come on, the NFL schedule just came out and I am ready for my Season tickets!!! and what have we here??????? A MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL GAME IN JACKSONVILLE VS. THE TITANS on OCT. 18th!!!!!!!!! And we open up at home September 12th vs the Denver Broncos!!!...And just because they love me so much, they gave me Donovon Mcnabb for Christmas!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Top 5 Things That Make Me Wonder....

Somethings, I really really really do not understand. And here they are;

5. The human body. I mean it just really amazes me. Think of all the stuff that we can do' run, jump, swim, throw and many others...and than think of all the other stuff, like why do we stretch, or need sleep, or talk. And why do we think of things that most other animals don't. We record our thoughts, get emotional, and yet science can't even prove why...

4. The Moon and atmosphere. I just don't get it. How come in all the pictures of earth, are we a round mass, yet if you were to take a space shuttle to earth, you have to fly through the sky and into the planet. The moon you just land on. I just don't get it.

3. How if you are from Holland or the Netherlands, that makes you Dutch. I mean, if you are from America, your an American, from Canada, a Canadian, if your from France, your French and Germany your German. But, if you are from Holland....

2. How the Internet and cell phones really work. I mean we must have a serious case of floating invisible wires that we ingest each day. I swear 30 years from now they are gonna say it causes cancer.

1. Woman.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Am Sorry...

Excuses excuses, i know we have plenty of them so I am not even going to begin to start making them as to why I have not been updating this piece lately. Sure I know Patty has been to busy watching the Yankees (eer studying for his series 7) and I have been to busy with the Girl, the dog, the Jays, the helpless disgusting Raptors, reading Dirk Hayhurst's new book, The Bullpen Gospels (which is nails!), getting intentionally walked in church league softball, shamelessly destroying the competition in James' league, working overtime, cleaning my house, reading up on every mock draft coming out, planning my trip to New York, watching Canadian Idol (a boy can dream), pooping my dog( yes this is different than just hanging out with him) and writing run-on-sentences...

But I have this to tell you. The Jags are only about 12,000 seats left to sell to avoid black outs (heyo!!!!!)...

Next Thursday there is going to be a party downtown for the draft, where some players (Newbie Kassem the dream Osgood, Last years 2nd round corner back Derek Cox, and our third receiver Mike Thomas) will be signing autographs. Also the Roar of the Jaguars (our cheerleaders) will also be there so this is def an event you want to bring the kids and girlfriend...

Anyways, it starts at 6 and it is going to be a good time. Gene Smith (our Gm and see above) is going to get us all the players we need to get us to the SuperBowl. This includes...well..we will see. For more information check this out. Some of you I know need to skip a rehearsal dinner to be there...

And in case you missed it I now have a man crush on Ricky Romero....I mean only one hit in 8 innings, the Good Doc only did that a few times....

Anyways, I want to sincerely apologize for being M.I.A this week, and I will promise to do better going forward..

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Vernon Wells to hit 129 Home Runs!

Start the Vernon for MVP chants. He's going to hit over 120 Home Runs and have have about 225 RBIs. At least that's what this weeks numbers tell us, and numbers never lie.

Everyone knows defense wins you championships, but offense gets you to all star games...
With that in mind let's look at the All Star Squad from week 1.

C: Yadier Molina (but look out for Chris Snyder.. 1 start 2-4 1HR 5 RBIs)

1:Ryan Howard who's actually hitting above .400 with only 1 strike out which cannot last as it is a sure sign of the apocalypse

2:Robinson Cano

3: AROD, stats don't matter its a done deal. But insert Longoria here if you would like...yeah you would like to insert Longoria

SS: Alex Gonzalez leads SS with 4 HRs

LF: Matt Holiday life is good hitting after arguably the best hitter in baseball

CF: Its gotta be Vernon.. The man is going to almost double the single season HR record...

RF: Nelson Cruz who is the only reason my fantasy team has any home runs so far... its a sad sad story

DH: Matsui happy to see him doing well with the Angels

SP: ROY HALLADAY he's going to have a 30+ win year, let's give him the Cy Young now so the other guys can stop trying. Its just not fair. I mean the guy has a .56 ERA... .56! with 17 strike outs. and is 2-0 now with 1 complete game.

Other Starters: De La Rosa, Lincecum, and Kiroki Kuroda

RP: Sean Marshall, Hawkins, Moylan

Closers: Jon Rauch and Jason Frasor/Kevin Gregg (which ever one the Jays let come out and play)

Rookie of the Year: Despite the pressure to go with Heyward, I'm going to go with Heyward, he's too good

If this had been the All Star team after day 3 I would have been all about supporting Garrett Jones since the second game he's been 2-15 (not good Garrett)

Other Interesting numbers from the first week

MLB wins leader: Casey Jannsen with 3, one for each of the innings he has pitched...

Martin Prado is batting .600 and thats actually gone down in the last 2 games

Friday, April 9, 2010

Please Don't Ever Be Like This Mystery Guy...

Yesterday, at work, we get an email from a colleague. The email is below. ( I promise I did not make this up, nor has it been edited so as not to lose it's value)...

So I’m in there just a moment ago dropping a Deuce. I’m back in the Handicapped/Luxury stall just taking care of bidness, and somebody comes up and pulls on the door. Nothing wrong with that……it happens all the time. Then they start knocking and toggling the door some more?????? WTF?????
Did they expect to come answer the door with my pants around my ankles????? I didn’t say anything, I just started grunting louder. Be careful of this guy…."

Guys. I was also shown this shortly there after, and need to relay this to the rest of the world, and pay special attention to the burglary piece....

Subject: Dump at work Survival Guide


Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.


Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine guns pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.


Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.


Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.


Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.


Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.


Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.


Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.


Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.


Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.


Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.


Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.


Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


Definition: A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include hairs, stains and streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a good cleaning, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Rashean the Dream...

This weekly player bio is featured by none other than Pro Bowl Cornerback Rashean Mathis. Rashean Jamil Mathis or Rash (can I call him that?) attended Englewood High school in Jacksonville, the same school that also featured Wife Beater (err) Starting Pitcher Brett Myers. In high school he was second team All-State, All-Conference and All-World. He was also recruited to play centerfield for numerous Community Colleges, obviously the highlight of his athletic career.

He passed on the chance to pursue a career in America’s Pastime, and instead followed the pigskin to Bethune-Cookman University. While I have no idea where this is, the reason he didn’t go to powerhouse schools like Syracuse was because he broke his leg during his senior season and they overlooked him.

While at BCU he still holds the BCS record for most interceptions in a single season (14), and he won some award for being the best defensive player in D1 AA.

He was drafted by the Jaguars in the second round (39th overall) in the 2003 draft.

In his rookie season he played safety and cornerback and recorded 81 tackles. He converted to cornerback full-time in 2004. Mathis had 2 interceptions in his rookie year and another 10 interceptions combined in the two years following. He had his best year in 2006, collecting 8 interceptions (tied for third in the league) and being voted to the Pro Bowl, Nails!

Mathis had his most significant game as a professional on January 5, 2008 in an AFC Wild Card playoff game against Pittsburgh. He had 2 interceptions, returning one for a touchdown. Double Nails!

On December 1, 2008, Mathis sustained a knee injury against the Houston Texans and was put on the injured reserve list ending his season.

On November 16, 2009, Mathis injured his groin while breaking up a pass in a win over the New York Jets. He would only play in one other game during the 2009 season, missing the rest because of the lingering injury

Rash owns franchise records with 25 career INTs, three INT returns for touchdowns, 441 INT return yards and 28 takeaways …

He lives in Jacksonville, loves golf and community events. Rash Served as spokesperson for the RealSense Prosperity campaign from 2007-08, a program that encourages people to take advantage of free tax preparation offered by volunteers. He participated in the 2008 Jacksonville Association of Firefighters charity softball tournament at Jacksonville University. Mathis partnered with Home Depot and KaBoom! on a project to refurbish and build a new playground at a local YMCA (Rash seems like an upstanding citizen). He serves on the Jacksonville Parks, Recreation, Entertainment and Conservation Advisory Board, and the coolest thing ever was a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. Big Money Mathis.

Thirsty Thursdays....

While my co-writers are basking in their Yankee victory over the Red Sox and a Duke Championship, I can say one thing, sports has never been better this time of year...

I mean, think about it, The Jacksonville Suns open up today at the friendly confines of Whatever the Stadium is called.

The Masters open up today, and we get to hear all about Tiger Woods for another 3 weeks. And in case you haven't heard, his new Nike ad with the voice of his dead father is just plain creepy...Also if you hear the ad, it is very personal, something I thought was off limits for Tiger. I guess if you pay him, he will speak.

Baseball has opened up in full swing, and for some reason, baseball season really makes me think it is summer again...

Speaking of the diamond, another victory on the Softball Field for Fire Up. We beat the punchless and heartless Indians once again by a score of 17-2. This game would have been much higher scoring and over much faster had we even cared. And since the other #1 team, Hit Shoppe had to forfeit a game, we are now in sole possession of first!

NBA and NHL seasons are winding down and playoff time is near. While I have conceded that my Raptors are not going to make it because we keep getting facial fractures, I always like the intensity in both sports playoffs (intensity that is so sadly lacking during the regular season).

NFL draft is only two weeks away, and I am saving my shackles for my new Bryant or Clausen Jersey....

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Latest and Greatest...

Let me first begin my rant by stating how this has been the absolute worst sports month for me...

Where do we begin... Syracuse loses to Butler in the Sweet 16, screwing Jimmy B out of his fourth final four and then Butler blows it to DUKE... UGHHHHHHHHH I LOATHE DUKE basketball. Now I have to deal with all the dukies and their new bandwagon fans. Gross.

Oh Donovan... I am a life-long Philadelphia Eagles fan and Syracuse Orangemen fan as well. McNabb going to Philly was A DREAM... and a dream it was... never did I realize my boy Big D holding the lombardi trophy in Philly... Screw you the city of Philadelphia and your backwards management for making the team worse off... ESPECIALLY after we FINALLY put top talent around him... Ugh.... Welp, the Kevin Kolb era is in... and boy is that fella COUNTRY...

Jimmy B gets coach of the year. Love you JB.... Can't wait for next season already!

This one goes out to my boy Canada... Roy Halladay was lights out in his opening day debut with Red Pinstripes... Finally the man has a chance to succeed in a division where his talent is not buried by the Superior Yankees. The man also will have the most run support of his entire career... My prediction? Doc wins 30 in the city of brotherly love.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Three Amigos!

Wherever there is injustice, you will find us!

Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there!

Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find........ The Three Amigos!!!

First let me start off with saying congrats to Butler. That was a much MUCH better game than I thought it was going to be. I honestly thought it could have been a blowout. They played hard the whole game and were just inches away from tying or winning the game. But, isn't that the way it should be and why college basketball is so good to watch? Either way congrats are deserved for both teams.

Moving to Duke, how can you say enough about the big 3? They had 47 points, hit 5 3's, 18 rebounds, and 11 assists. Zoubek had a good night too with 16 board. Duke only had 5 guys score... Amazing way to end a college career. Those guys have been carrying the team and each other all year.

Not only was it an awesome way to end what is typically the worst day of the week, baseball is in full swing again. I for one desperately needed this Duke win though after the Yankees blew it yesterday and the Eagles continued their firesale of fan favorites (westbrook, dawkins, mcnabb, ...) Here's to the start of a great baseball season and the NFL draft that is quickly approaching.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Top 5 Things I Would Change about Opening Day

5. Not have it on Easter, it should be it's own Holiday.

4. Have ALL the teams play, not only the Major Leagues, but ALL minor league affiliates open as well, against their regional rivals, and stagger the games like they do for the NCAA tournament. As much as I love the over done Yankees- Red Sox matchup on ESPN, not all baseball fans like the Yankees and Red Sox....

3. Wear throw back uniforms and have all the old greats show up for the game. Have batting practice for both teams (not just the away team) and allow fans to really enjoy the setting.

2. Have it on a Monday, and declare it a school and bank holiday. Close all golf courses so fathers are required to take their kids to the ballpark...

1. Free Hot dogs and Beer.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Bring on the Fake Games!!!!

Jaguar Preseason schedule has been released, well sort off. While we don't know the exact dates yet, we do know that our 2010 SuperBowl Run starts at Philadelphia (between Aug. 12-16), home against Miami (Aug. 19-23), at Tampa Bay (Aug. 26-29) and home against Atlanta on Sept. 2 or 3. Yes Sirrrrrr that we get to see Run Ricky Run Williams and the MEEEEAMI Dolpins and Matty Ice and his fellow Falcon brothers....

We also get to smash up the Eagles and Kevin Kolb and whoever plays for the Bucs these days...

And in case you noticed it, David Garrard has been cut. O wait...APRIL FOOLS!!!!